From the day that I started Kindergarten, it was drilled into my head that hitting other kids is wrong, no matter what they did. Even if someone else hits you first, you are supposed to be the bigger person and not fight back, go get a teacher to sort out the dispute. But, if the very people who are telling you to not hit each other, start hitting you, how are you meant to take it? Is it wrong to hit other kids? Do you deserve to be hit? The answer is no. No child deserves to be hit. But in hitting a child without explaining the reason, as many angry parents tend to, the child becomes confused and does not realise what they did wrong. If the child is unable to understand what they did wrong, then how can they learn from it?
It seems as though most of the time a parent hits their child, it is out of frustration for a young child doing something repeatedly wrong. But if the child is unable to understand the reason you are hitting them, then how can they realise that they are being hit as a punishment. A child too young to realise the reasoning behind the smack, is too young to be smacked. They are unable to comprehend the reason their parent is hitting them, and cannot learn from it, which is what is generally desired from using violence on a child. This also goes for schools. A child’s first day in Kindergarten or Preschool is an exciting and scary one, and one where they are bound to overstep the boundaries a little bit, and to not remember all the rules. Elementary school teachers should be prohibited from striking children, as they are still young and some too young to realise the mistakes they had made. A firm word in a mean voice may be all that is needed to set the child right.
There are so many other options to disciplining children other than hitting them, and many are so much more effective and does not damage the child or their relationships. Sending a child to their room or giving them a timeout is one of these options. Not only is it nonviolent, it also gives the child time to think about what they did wrong, if they had not realised before, and lets them think about how they feel about getting in trouble. A specific time of timeout is generally not needed, as the child will probably come back and apologise for their actions when they have had the time to think.
Destructive actions can require different consequences, though. If a child destroys something that is not their own, then an idea is to leave the mess for the child to see. That is something they did, and they are no longer able to use the object that is destroyed because of their actions. After the child has realised that they did something wrong, you can help them clean it up and tell them why they should not have destroyed it.
As you can see, there are many alternatives to hitting children in order to discipline them. Disciplinary actions should not be gotten rid of all together, or children will never learn what is right and wrong. But punishment should be dealt with thoughtfully, and not when the parents has pent up frustration or other negative emotions brewing. I know that if you were raised in a household where corporal punishment was the most common disciplinary action, then it was what you knew and it may be hard to stop the trend. If this is the case, then your hand may be the first thing raised at a child when they break the rules, but self control is necessary in being a parent. If you find yourself too many times raising your hand to your child, you may also find your child beginning to shy away from you, which is nothing that any parent should want.
But the bottom line is, if a gentle slap on the wrist is all it takes to keep kids from digging under the sink or coming too near the stove, it is what it is and the appropriate action should be taken. A curious child will not want to take no for an answer, and letting them know that they are not in charge is important. If light corporal punishment is necessary to let the child understand that what they are doing is wrong or dangerous, then so be it. Only the parent can decide whether this kind of punishment is right for the child, but they must also be careful to not deliver it too often or with too much force, or they may find themselves crossing the line into child abuse territory.
It seems as though most of the time a parent hits their child, it is out of frustration for a young child doing something repeatedly wrong. But if the child is unable to understand the reason you are hitting them, then how can they realise that they are being hit as a punishment. A child too young to realise the reasoning behind the smack, is too young to be smacked. They are unable to comprehend the reason their parent is hitting them, and cannot learn from it, which is what is generally desired from using violence on a child. This also goes for schools. A child’s first day in Kindergarten or Preschool is an exciting and scary one, and one where they are bound to overstep the boundaries a little bit, and to not remember all the rules. Elementary school teachers should be prohibited from striking children, as they are still young and some too young to realise the mistakes they had made. A firm word in a mean voice may be all that is needed to set the child right.
There are so many other options to disciplining children other than hitting them, and many are so much more effective and does not damage the child or their relationships. Sending a child to their room or giving them a timeout is one of these options. Not only is it nonviolent, it also gives the child time to think about what they did wrong, if they had not realised before, and lets them think about how they feel about getting in trouble. A specific time of timeout is generally not needed, as the child will probably come back and apologise for their actions when they have had the time to think.
Destructive actions can require different consequences, though. If a child destroys something that is not their own, then an idea is to leave the mess for the child to see. That is something they did, and they are no longer able to use the object that is destroyed because of their actions. After the child has realised that they did something wrong, you can help them clean it up and tell them why they should not have destroyed it.
As you can see, there are many alternatives to hitting children in order to discipline them. Disciplinary actions should not be gotten rid of all together, or children will never learn what is right and wrong. But punishment should be dealt with thoughtfully, and not when the parents has pent up frustration or other negative emotions brewing. I know that if you were raised in a household where corporal punishment was the most common disciplinary action, then it was what you knew and it may be hard to stop the trend. If this is the case, then your hand may be the first thing raised at a child when they break the rules, but self control is necessary in being a parent. If you find yourself too many times raising your hand to your child, you may also find your child beginning to shy away from you, which is nothing that any parent should want.
But the bottom line is, if a gentle slap on the wrist is all it takes to keep kids from digging under the sink or coming too near the stove, it is what it is and the appropriate action should be taken. A curious child will not want to take no for an answer, and letting them know that they are not in charge is important. If light corporal punishment is necessary to let the child understand that what they are doing is wrong or dangerous, then so be it. Only the parent can decide whether this kind of punishment is right for the child, but they must also be careful to not deliver it too often or with too much force, or they may find themselves crossing the line into child abuse territory.